Tuesday, March 29, 2005


stars in your eyes
moon in your smile
i'm paralyzed
can you be with me for a while?

stars in your eyes
moon in your smile
never in my life
has something felt so right

stars in your eyes
moon in your smile
i've found paradise
and it's right by your side.

Sunday, March 27, 2005


Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

I'm going back to the start.

- Coldplay, "The Scientist"

Thursday, March 24, 2005


I knew a boy
He put the color inside of my world
and he was just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually changed

And I've done all I can
To stand on the steps with my heart in my hand
Now I'm finally starting to see
That maybe it had nothing to do with me.

- John Mayer, "Daughters"

Tuesday, March 22, 2005


"If I told you I haven't really thought about it, you probably wouldn't believe me. My sexuality is a part of me that I really like. But it's not the totality of me. It's not a passion of mine to become political in any way, but I do think it's important to see gay men and women having big careers and very full, rich lives."

- Ally McBeal and Arrested Development star Portia De Rossi, on the responsibility of being gay in the mainstream

Monday, March 21, 2005


Silent Sanctuary is playing a set at Indios Strip in Orosa Malate tonight at 10pm. Other bands slated to play are Agaw Agimat and The Dawn.

It has just occurred to me that I am already starting to slightly freak out, as I had a mini-meltdown looking for the shirt I was planning to wear tonight which apparently, was in my closet all along (don't you HATE when that happens??)

This is because, I realize now, we are playing alongside the Dawn. I have never played in front of Jett Pangan, Francis Brew & co before. They're practically legends in OPM, and rightfully so. And the thought of possibly screwing up in front of them weighs oh-so-heavily on my mind. I so want to make a good impression with Jett & Francis. More so than anyone I've ever played with, I think.

This is nuts. I've played with Sugarfree, Twisted Halo, Imago & Cambio, all amazing bands, and I've been fine. Buddy Zabala is a freaking legend, but I'm relaxed playing around him. The Dawn are something else entirely. They're practically an institution, in some ways, even more so than the venerable Eraserheads. I shouldn't even refer to them, as merely The Dawn, I should refer to them as THE FUCKIN' DAWN!!! I'm playing tonight with THE FUCKIN' DAWN!!!

I need to take a deep breath, and CALM the HELL down. I don't even know if they'll even BE there when we play.

Pics and/or gig report to come, provided I don't have a meltdown tonight.


..... Had a disagreement with someone, and when that someone calls up to apologize, provokes ANOTHER fight from you literally seconds after making the apology? It's quite amazing, actually. I should know, I just experienced it first-hand.

It's not pleasant mind you, just amazing. I didn't know people like this existed outside of cheesy teenage telenovelas.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

From last night's GMA TextTube taping at GMA studios:

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Damn. I really need to lose weight. Feh.

Monday, March 14, 2005


"Taste is the enemy of art altogether. I’ve thought about this a lot. People with good taste are constantly worrying about what other people will think. It’s the wrong thing to be thinking about, because it squashes expression. Of life and vitality of all kinds, and sex—all the funny things!"

- Monty Python's Eric Idle


Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Get ready.

Friday, March 11, 2005


Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Twisted Halo's Joey Odulio giddy with anticipation at being
groped during last night's Bluewatch Production at Big Sky Mind

And he loved it, too.

Thursday, March 03, 2005


Was in the studio last wednesday, trying to lay down some vocal tracks for the album. Anyone who's ever been in the studio can attest to this; playing normally on your own or in a band is as different an animal as you can imagine from recording. Because in the former, you're into the music, the little mistakes and flubs can be covered up by your bandmates or ignored altogether because you're submerged in the music.

Recording, however, it's just YOU and your voice (or whatever instrument you're using). Just you. The slightest mistakes and flaws are singled out and highlighted as there is nothing to hide behind. It reminded me a lot of the penultimate elimintation round of American Idol (which has become one of my favorite shows, not because of the music, but just the sheer process of the machinery behind the pop music industry) which had the contestants onstage singing completely on their own; no backup singers, no music, just them. For all its' simplicity, it is the harshest stage of all.

It was difficult for me trying to lay down some vocal tracks as apparently I had been doing certain notes and runs incorrectly. The thing was, they've always sounded fine to me. Having a sound engineer (Chino Violins) who has perfect pitch is both a blessing and a curse, as he has hammered me on notes which sound right to my ears, but are just the slightest bit off. However, as it was I just got more and more frustrated as the session wore on.

I have to admit I've been slacking off as of late; it used to be when I first joined the band, I was so nervous and tense about my place in it that I would practice furiously every day for hours just to get the songs right. I was a nervous wreck, but I learned the songs. Now, I am much more relaxed and at ease onstage, and the ironic thing is that may be the cause of my substandard performance in the studio. I need to get myself tense again, rediscover that drive to practice and get everything perfect. But not too much that I worry myself into a mess again. It's a very tricky balance, that.

It was very frustrating, but I will rise to this challenge. I know that if I can pull off a vocal that passes his muster; rise to the standards he and the rest of SilentSanct live in (over half the band are classically trained in music) I will be that much better a vocalist. I have to go back to the basics of singing the song: On my own, just me and a guitar, to get the notes just right.

But in the end, it's all about having fun, and I would do well to remember that.

There's a reason they call it playing music.


* Last wednesday, Silentsanct played for a St. Scholastica fundraising gig at Suburbia Malate, and I have the gig report here.

* This saturday, March 5, we will be playing at the Baywalk along Roxas Boulevard for the Nginiiiiig! Files Anniversary party. Odds are this is a free show since it's an open air venue. I'm looking forward to this one as I've never played in Baywalk before and am curious to know what it feels like to play by the sea.

* On Tuesday, March 8, we will be at UP Manila playing for a benefit gig mini-concert for a Women's Organization. This will be interesting because we will be playing 2 covers by special request of the organizers. What covers will these be? Come to the show and find out. We're scheduled to be there at 4pm, so this is most likely an afternoon show.

* Friday, March 11: This is the big one for this month, as the Bluewatch Inaugural Show kicks off. At Big Sky Mind along E.Rodriguez. This is Silentsanct's "home" production and it's along time in coming. I really hope that this will be a success. I'm not really into pimping our shows too much on this blog, but if any of you could see just one gig of mine, this one would be the one to watch.

Big Sky Mind is located near the McDonald's along E. Rodriguez (going to Espana, turn LEFT at McDonald's , just go a little bit further on the same block and you'll see it. There's no sign (don't ask me why) for Big Sky Mind, just look for a cozy little bar with (hopefully) a lot of people milling about outside and a band inside.

Ayun. Hopefully a few more gigs will be added as the month progresses. Will keep you all posted as soon as I know.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005


Hmmmmm.... examining the lineup, one can't help noticing that it's rather boy-heavy. As in, nary a female vocalist or instrumentalist in sight. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

This one is on a WEEKEND people, so this time there's no more excuses about having the work the next day or anything like that. Ang hindi pumunta, panget*.

*Okay, maybe not. But the ones who DO go are beautiful people possessing high intelligence, impeccable taste and a keen fashion sense. The also smell nice.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005


I know the past few blog entries have been of the self-pitying variety with regards to my singlehood, but through some miraculous confluence of events, I have managed to find myself going out on actual dates the past week. With men. Live ones. Believe me, no one is more surprised about this than me. I'm not even FRISKY anymore! ('nuff said)

After I came out, it wasn't long before I met my now-ex, and we were together for nearly 2 years. Before that, I didn't really do much dating, since I was still dealing with all the requisite angst over coming out, etc etc. So in a way, this is the first time I'm experiencing being single (as in, unattached and looking). And I gotta say, it's not all that bad.

During the course of a few dates which shall remain unblogged (sorry folks, my private life stays private) I've discovered a few things that I find I require from people I go out with. Some of them are mundane, some of them are quite important. But all of these are pretty much non-negotiable.

I was going to make an entry detailing the said non-negotiables, but I changed my mind. You see, I have no idea who is reading this blog, and it's already occurred at least once to my knowledge that someone I was seeing knew about my blog and didn't let me know that he knew, and that was a wake-up call. The last thing I want to do is give out a cheat-sheet of what things to do (or appear to do) in order to win my affection.

Make no mistake, while I usually make it a point to try and be good company with whoever I go out with regardless of how I feel about them, I am watching him very, very closely to see whether or not he matches my non-negotiables list. The list is done, I'm just not going to post it here. If anyone manages to pass my own little test, I want it to be because he is that way naturally, not because he read it off my blog and took it upon himself to transform into what I want just so he can get in my pants.

I WILL give away one thing though. He MUST be a non-smoker, or at the very least, not smoke while out with me. I hate cigarettes. I hate the smell of it, I hate the way it sticks on your clothes, I hate the way it can make you sick even if you're just around someone who smokes, I hate the way it WILL kill you eventually, no ifs ands or buts, and most of ALL: I hate, hate, hate, hate, HAAAAAAAAAAAATE the taste of kissing a smoker. It's like licking an ash tray. I know some people actually like that sort of thing. I am not one of those people. UGH.

Usually, I'm a big proponent of accepting a person for who he is once I have decided to like someone, but this is the one exception to that rule. Anyone who wants to be my boyfriend is going to have to lay off the cancer sticks while out with me, and will eventually be made to quit by yours truly if they want to go any further.

Is that excessively demanding? Hell yes, but in this case I don't really care because I'm doing them a favor in the long run anyway: The get to have better health, and they get to be with me.

What more can anyone ask for?

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?